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For travellers with a romantic streak, finding ‘the one’ should, in theory, open the door to a lifetime of loved-up globetrotting. However, what if Cupid’s not so kind? Forget squabbling about which side to stand on for a smug sunset selfie – couples are often lucky if they can even agree on where to go, what to do, and when to do it.
Don’t be disheartened. With these solutions to five common relationship problems, there need be no trouble in paradise.
Your travel styles don’t match
They say opposites attract, but if you and your beloved have very different travel dreams, planning a trip together can become a challenging experience. Sun-seekers may not be impressed by a proposal for a Nordic fjord adventure, while sporty types will twiddle their thumbs at the thought of a spa break. Therefore, it’s essential to find common ground.
Relationship rescue: Compromise is key here. Consider forming a rota system, heading to the Alps for a ski holiday one year and lounging on a Caribbean beach the next. Alternatively, search for destinations that combine both of your priorities. Spending time apart to pursue your own interests can also be beneficial, and if that’s not possible in the same location, who’s to say you can’t each go solo once in a while?
You can’t agree for love nor money
Money management issues can often be a source of friction in relationships, especially while travelling. While being abroad may present a perfect excuse to splurge, thrifty partners may feel uneasy when the budget becomes overwhelming. Consequently, different spending priorities can create tension; for instance, if you are saving for a new home together, a long trip to Australia could be difficult to rationalize.
Relationship rescue: Create a level financial playing field by establishing a joint travel fund. Whether adding pennies to a piggy bank each month or opening a shared account, this way, the total saved dictates the travel budget, rather than your individual salaries. Additionally, consider more affordable destinations like Southeast Asia, where luxury experiences can be enjoyed for less.
The fuss factor: excuses, excuses
Everyone has their personal quirks and preferences. Nevertheless, when your partner’s aversion to unfamiliar cuisine keeps them from trying anywhere remotely exotic, or their fear of flying limits your travel options, these once-endearing traits can become irritating.
Relationship rescue: To ease the situation with a less adventurous partner, take time to listen to their concerns. Start small, trying new experiences and places closer to home. With patience and understanding, each step into the unknown can help boost their confidence. While venturing into the Amazon may not be realistic anytime soon, you’ll be surprised at what you can achieve together with gradual exposure.
One of you is a control freak
Detailed itineraries, strict morning alarms, and territorial behavior surrounding guidebooks, paperwork, and passports; does this sound familiar? If one partner has an urge to control every detail, prepare for more stress than enjoyment on your travels.
Relationship rescue: If your partner is the travel tyrant, you have two choices. You can either allow them to take the reins completely, resulting in more relaxation for you but less enjoyment for both, or you can show them you are willing to help with the planning. Demonstrating your ability will relieve some of their anxiety. Consider negotiating some free time within your travel schedule to balance your preferences. Working together will enrich your relationship. Alternatively, plan a trip to India and experience the art of spontaneity together.
If you find yourself being the control freak, remember to loosen your grip—travel should be enjoyable for both of you.
Your amour isn’t in love with travel
Perhaps the most puzzling predicament arises when you fall for someone who simply isn’t interested in travel. While it may seem inconceivable, some individuals possess attractive qualities yet remain indifferent when it comes to romantic getaways. Alarm bells may ring, but the connection is already made.
Relationship rescue: Their lack of enthusiasm doesn’t mean a loss of connection. Explore what truly sparks their interest and find ways to integrate that with travel. Are they a runner? Entice them with an international marathon. Do they adore art? Plan a visit to the Guggenheim. Whether it’s food, wine, music, or wildlife, you can bridge the gap between their ambivalence and your passion for travel. While you may never share an intense wanderlust, you can create enjoyable experiences together along the journey.
This article was first published Feb 5, 2016, and updated Feb 25, 2020.
