Summary
My wife and I spend part of the year living in France. When we started, we didn’t know anyone there, and it would have been easy to just hang out with other expats.
However, we wanted French friends – that was part of the experience, right?
The only problem was that French people have a reputation for being unfriendly to Americans.
Despite this challenge, we succeeded! Now we have wonderful French friends and an active social life.
We enjoy long conversations, attend concerts together, and savor long meals while consuming rather surprising amounts of wine.
Consequently, my wife and I don’t feel like expats anymore; instead, we feel like true members of the community.
Living in France – How to Make Friends With the Locals
If we did it, then you can, too! Here are some of the valuable lessons we’ve learned.
1. Try to Learn the Language
You don’t have to be perfect! However, with effort, you can make yourself understood – what we call being “conversational.”
What’s crucial is communication and connection, not flawless sentences.
Who cares about the subjunctive tense, anyway? (please don’t tell my French teacher I said that)
The French take pride in their language and prefer it to be spoken correctly.
However, they will appreciate your effort; you’ll be forgiven for conjugating a verb incorrectly or mistakenly switching genders on nouns.
Ultimately, getting your point across will help forge that vital human connection.
2. Find Language Partners
I’ll admit that learning a new language is challenging. However, having a language partner can make it much easier.
This is someone who is trying to learn your language. It’s an ideal scenario where you both practice each other’s languages.
One significant advantage of language partners is their patience; they are going through the same learning experience.
When I was learning French, my partners significantly enhanced my learning and bolstered my confidence, particularly on days when I felt like a four-year-old speaking with a poor accent.
Additionally, language partners can become friends over time. You can bond over shared interests, making it a natural progression. Many of my French friends began as language partners.
Moreover, if you get tired of struggling with your new language, you can speak some English with them. What a relief!
How do you find language partners? Ask around at tourist offices or local language schools. My wife even found a partner through our butcher – his wife wanted to improve her English. Additionally, websites like www.mylanguageexchange.com connect learners.
3. Learn the Local Etiquette
Every society has its cultural rules. For instance, in Japan, blowing your nose is considered rude.
In France, entering a store without saying “bonjour” is frowned upon.
While you may not master every social grace, ensure you learn the essential Do’s and Don’ts (especially the Don’ts!)
4. Get Involved
Engaging in local activities is an excellent way to meet people.
There are likely clubs you can join in your town. There may also be lectures or art openings you can attend.
Traditional festivals occur throughout the year, and there might be yoga classes or volunteer opportunities available.
For instance, my wife and I once assisted a local beekeeper – that was an exhilarating experience!
Explore various activities and get involved in those that pique your interest; they can be a fantastic way to meet local people and make friends.
5. Take an Interest in Your New Country
Countries are captivating! People generally appreciate when you show interest in theirs.
Focus on topics that excite you, whether it’s politics, history, cooking, or sports.
This approach not only helps connect you with locals but also enhances your understanding of your new country.
Furthermore, it serves as a great conversation starter, leading to unexpected connections.
For example, we reside in an area rich in Roman history; occasionally, they stage gladiator fight re-creations. It’s certainly different from California, which adds to the excitement!
6. Embrace Your Exoticness
You may be surprised to discover that locals are curious about you. It’s natural for them to want to know about foreigners.
Why did you move to their country? What are things like back home?
Leverage your exotic status to meet people and exchange ideas.
7. Make the First Move
Some people may want to meet you but feel uncertain about how to initiate contact. Consequently, take the initiative.
Start with something simple, such as inviting them for a drink or coffee at a café. Alternatively, bake a batch of cookies and share, or offer a small gift from your home country.
Indeed, you might feel awkward at first, unsure if you’re doing things right.
However, you might be pleasantly surprised by their positive reaction. Once you break the ice, amazing things can happen!
8. Expect Some Ups and Downs
Even if you’re doing everything right – from learning the language to participating in local activities – there will still be awkward moments.
For example, perhaps you hit it off with someone initially, yet the connection does not deepen.
When similar situations arise in your home country, you might simply shrug them off.
However, it can be more challenging as an expat – did I do something wrong? Is my language not good enough? It’s so much easier with friends back home!
9. Don’t Worry About the Little Things
Along the way, you’ll undoubtedly make embarrassing mistakes in your new language.
For instance, I once announced to dinner guests that we were serving “marijuana cheese.” This shocked the children and left the parents unimpressed. Hm, I better double-check my dictionary next time!
However, don’t let these bumps in the road discourage you. Instead, learn to laugh at them.
While acknowledging struggles is essential, maintain a sense of humor.
After all, you’re living in an extraordinary new country, something most people can only dream of experiencing.
10. When All Else Fails, Get a Dog
I’m half-kidding. Nonetheless, it’s true that having a friendly dog can surprisingly help you meet many people.
It’s Worth It!
I can’t imagine living in France without my French friends. We have so much fun together!
They enlighten me about their country and offer new perspectives, enriching my appreciation for my homeland.
I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve been thanked for American sacrifices during World War II.
Living in another country has undeniably shaped me as well.
Opening yourself up to a different culture can be challenging, but it’s all part of growing. My life is much richer now that I live actively in two countries.
